You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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