8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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