Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He has the fingertips of a God
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