Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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