I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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