For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
