absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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