i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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