okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
