BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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