My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
