so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still dying that you shit outside
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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