This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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