FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
