you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
