why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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