If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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