You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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