There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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