Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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