I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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