people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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