Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
