my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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