so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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