Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
