i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i think im in europe. pls send help
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
