I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
