I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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