Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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