Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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