The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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