Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
