So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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