i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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