He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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