I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So vagazzling was a success
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize