Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
