we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
