I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
