Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
