You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
vagina is talking i cant
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
