Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
