dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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