What a fucking waste of an outfit
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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