the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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