She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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