are you still at the devil's house?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
