Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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