Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize