I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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