Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
