All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
