i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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