thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
