Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
