I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
