I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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