There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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