i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize