didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
