oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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