I don't usually arrange sex via text message
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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