Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
