Non-Jews are for practice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
