He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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